The Lives of Girls 
First-time filmmaker Jane Gray talks about her intimate documentary "Playing House," a chronicle of the lives of five girls during their first year away from home, screening at The Coolidge Theater on September 17th. 

By Margaret Tranggono

The girls featured in "Playing House." [Click to enlarge]

Oh, to remember the days of growing up as an adolescent girl... the innocence, the freedom, and the joy.  But with growing up also come the pain, pressures, fear, and tribulations as filmmaker Jane Gray portrays in her first documentary film 'Playing House."  Set in a dormitory, Webster House, a freshman dorm in the exclusive Fay School, the film gives an intimate look at adolescent girlhood and the rarefied world of boarding school.  Jane Gray documents the lives of five seventh and eighth-grade girls during their first year away from home.

"Playing House" received an award for Best Regional Film from the Northampton Independent Film Festival.  The film takes place mainly in the Webster House, where the girls' everyday lives unfold.  From making friends and enemies, to having their first dates, and sleeping with stuffed animals, we witness the social interactions between the girls, and remember the challenges of adolescence.  'Playing House" follows the girls from September, when they say their good-byes to their parents, to June, when they return to their parents after a year at the school.

MT:  Tell us about yourself.  How did you get into filmmaking?

Gray:  For years, I spent a lot of time making photographs, which I loved.  In college, I majored in psychology, and thought I would become a professor.  Then my senior year I took a video class, and I was hooked.  I dropped my psychology thesis to spend more time on the video class and I would spend all night in the editing room.  When I bought a lamp to improve conditions in the editing cubby, my professor was impressed.  He told me later that that sort of initiative was what made a filmmaker.  When I graduated from college, he hired me to be the assistant editor on his film, "A Midwife's Tale."  And I have been working in film ever since. 

MT:  Tell us about the documentary "Playing House."  What inspired you to do a project on this subject?

Gray:  When I was 12 and 13 years old, I had a tough time socially and that experience affected my self-esteem for years.  Most, if not all, of the women I have talked with about that period in their lives even grimace when recalling it.  So I was drawn to make a film that would bear witness to the incredible complexity and confusion of adolescence.  I wanted to make a documentary that would capture and convey the social-emotional world of 13-year-old girls; I hoped that such a film could shed some light on a subject that we, as women, tend to bury and put away as soon as we are able.

MT:  How did you come to know the Fay School?  And how did you choose the five girls?

Gray:  I actually went to Fay School when I was in 8th and 9th grades.  Because I had a relationship with the school, they were willing to go out on a limb and let me make a film there.  (Thank you Fay School!)  For me, making the film at Fay meant that the film would now address the unique and privileged environment of boarding school as much as it would be about girls coming of age.  Also, a boarding school is a great place to make a film about girls, because they are there all of the time.  The dynamics that many girls that age go through, regardless of their backgrounds, are magnified in the boarding school setting, and more available to capture on camera.

As far as choosing the girls, it was really more a matter of choosing the dormitory in which to make the film.  Webster House was ideal because its common room was large enough for me to film in, and there was a space in which I could store equipment and even sometimes sleep over.  Once the school had assigned the new girls to that dormitory, we wrote letters to their parents.  The girls and their parents were all excited about the project, and agreed to be part of it.  I met them for the first time when they showed up for registration, and shook hands while shooting. 

MT:  So this is your first film.  What was the experience like as a first-time filmmaker?

Gray:  I don't know that if I had known in advance what it would be like I would have had the courage to do it.  It was hard -- so much harder than I had imagined.  I thought that I would shoot for the school year, edit over the summer, and have a film to show for it.  I assumed that somehow the film would find its way to festivals, get recognized, show in some art house theaters, and make its way to TV, all rather magically.  This isn't exactly how it happened.  By the time I finished, I often thought of the film as a beast -- a beast that had taken my life and me hostage, and if I didn't watch out, it might eat me whole.

As hard as it was, it was also great.  I loved being at the school spending time with the girls, learning to assimilate into their world and observing it all through my camera lens.  I loved working with my editors, and seeing how they could transform my footage into scenes that told stories.  I loved going to film festivals and talking to audiences, and seeing how this beast of a project has turned into something beautiful with a life of its own, that engages and inspires people. 

MT:  What would you say were some of the challenges/obstacles of the filmmaking process?

Gray:  Working with teenage girls who aren't always getting along with each other can be a challenge.  I needed to maintain relationships with each of them without seeming to take sides.  One of the girls did stop talking to me for a week, right at the end of the school year.  It's a balancing act to film girls that age in a way that is respectful, but also captures enough truth to make a viable film.  We worked out a system so the girls would have some agency in whether or not they would be filmed at a particular time.  When I wanted to film them I would hand them a radio mic to put on, but if they didn't feel like it they wouldn't take it.  What made it easier is that they were all thrilled about the idea of being in a film.  So even though they got sick of having me around, and found it difficult at times, they were excited to be part of it.

MT:  What do you want the audience to take away from your film?  What's your message?

Gray:  I think my bias going into making this film was that this is a difficult age for girls.  Also that it is one worth paying attention to, understanding better, and looking at more.  One hope I have is that this film will help girls having a tough time at that age feel less alone.  I also hope that educators and parents will be able to use the film as a springboard to talk with their students and children.  If girls feel less alone, if they can talk about what they are going through, and if parents and teachers understand how and when to intervene, I think we can make this age a more manageable one for girls.

MT:  What are your plans now?   

Gray:  I have many ideas for films.  Having just faced how difficult it is to launch a documentary and get it seen in the world, and having learned how much of myself it takes to pull something like this off, I am taking my time to research the next topic and be sure that I would want to give several years to it.  In the meantime, I am pursuing a one-year Master's program in education, returning to my roots in psychology while also thinking about ways I can interweave my interests in psychology, education, and film all together.

"Playing House" will screen at The Coolidge Theater on Tuesday, September 14th at 7:30pm.  Tickets are $6.  Jane Gray will be present.

Margaret Tranggono is a freelance/screen writer living in Los Angeles.  Her script "Tea Room" is currently in pre-production in Bangalore, India.  You can e-mail her at contact@madmangoscripts.com.

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